halloween with the family

Halloween hasn't really ever been anything I have been in to but this year I decided to let Dom get dressed up and enjoy the fun. I didn't think he would get the idea of trick or treating for a long period of time so the main objective was to find a place we could go and enjoy some activities. After lots of looking on the local christian radio station website I finally found a place. He had alot of fun made some nice little friends for the day. The activity that he enjoyed the most was the band. He loves the drums and couldn't stop talking to anyone who would listen about them. We met some real nice people at the Praise Day. Allow the activities were boring to me and seemed like I had to do them since they were a little difficult for him it changed my opinion about Halloween....Its something I think we could look foward to next year.

WITNESS...

AFTER LOTS OF PRAYER ABOUT WHETHER I SHOULD LEAVE MY CHURCH HOME I FEEL I FINALLY HAVE FOUND THE RIGHT PLACE FOR ME AND MY FAMILY....IT ONLY TOOK A FEW MINUTES TO FEEL WELCOMED AND THAT TO ME IS AWESOME. THE BEST EXPERIENCE IS SEEING HOW THE LORD WORKS. MY 9 YEAR OLD IN A CHURCH SERMON BRINGING TEARS TO THE CHOIR DIRECTORS EYES.....IT WAS AS IF HE TURNED TO DOM AND THEY WERE THE ONLY TWO IN THE ROOM. THEY SANG AND DIRECTED THE REST OF THE CONGREGATION IN SONG. WORDS CAN NOT EXPLAIN THE FEELING THAT WENT THROUGH ME AS I WITNESSED THIS MOMENT BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM AND THEN TO HEAR THE RESPONSE OF OTHERS AFTER THE SERMON ENDED AS WE ALL WERE GETTING READY TO GO HOME. MY DOMINIC 9 YEARS OLD ALLOWED OTHERS TO FEEL GOD'S LOVE. I AM VERY PROUD OF HIM AND ONLY HOPE TO SEE MORE LIKE THIS IN THE FUTURE.

WE DANCED

IT IS AMAZING HOW MUCH I HAVE FORGOTTEN SINCE DOMINIC WAS A BABY IN REGARDS TO WHAT TO EXPECT FROM A NEWBORN. I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO FIND A WAY TO KEEP AVERY ASLEEP, LATELY HE IS UP SCREAMING AFTER JUST AND HOUR OR TWO OF SLEEP. HE IS VERY ACTIVE AND A GUESS HE IS PLAYING IN HIS CRIB AND THEN GETS SLEEPY AND GETS "STUCK"......HE IS STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO SIT DOWN WHEN HE STANDS. SO WITH ALL THE HOMEWORK AND ESSAYS ADD THAT TO ALL THE OTHER STUFF......MAN I AM TIRED BUT, DOING GREAT I JUST TOOK TWO EXAMS AND MADE A'S. THIS MORNING WAS PRETTY SLOW HAD A LONG NIGHT AND STILL HAVE TO GET UP AND GET MY DAY STARTED. IT WAS TIME TO GET DOM READY FOR SCHOOL. IT WAS VERY REWARDING TO SEE THAT AFTER WHAT SEEMS MILLIONS OF TIMES-TELLING HIM TO DO THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER....WITH OUT ANY HESITATION-HE DID IT. STILL IN A SLEEPY DAZE JUST STANDING THERE IN HIS ROOM HE WALKS IN TURNS ON HIS T.V. AND A SONG WAS PLAYING.....HE GRABBED MY HAND PUT HIS ARM AROUND ME AND WE DANCED. SOMETHING HE AND I DO ALOT WHEN IT IS JUST THE TWO OF US. IT WAS NICE FEELING SWALLOWED UP BY ALL HIS LOVE....AND LAUGHTER....

WHERE....

I REMEMBER AS A KID BEING ASKED WHERE I SAW MYSELF IN THE FUTURE (5-10YRS) THE THOUGHT OF THINKING SO FAR AHEAD IN MY LIFE PERPLEXED ME. WITH EACH YEAR THAT WENT BY I WAS SO EAGER TO GROW UP AND BECOME SOMETHING STILL UNSURE OF WHAT I WAS ACTUALLY CHASING AND SOON I FELT I HAD FOUND IT. AS EACH YEAR PASSED ON THINGS SLOWLY CHANGED AND BEFORE I WAS EVEN ABLE TO CATCH MY BREATH THE LIFE I HAD KNOWN AS MINE SEEMED TO VANISH. STRANGELY ENOUGH I FOUND MYSELF ASKING THAT QUESTION YET AGAIN.....FEARING MOST EVERY OUTCOME THAT PLAYED IN MY MIND BECAUSE NOW I KNOW HOW LIFE CAN BE OVER IN JUST A BLINK OF AN EYE. IRONICALLY, THE LIFE I HAD STARTED OUT CHASING BEGAN TO CHASE ME. I WILL NOT LIE, I MADE VERY POOR CHOICES. I WENT THROUGH THE MOTIONS, I WAS A VERY ATTENTIVE MOTHER, A LOYAL FRIEND, BUT THE INSIDE OF ME WAS SCREAMING UNCONTROLLABLY FROM FEAR AND HEARTACHE. I HAD WORKED SO HARD TO ACCOMPLISH CERTAIN ASPECTS OF MY LIFE AND NOW I HAD NOTHING. I FOUND MYSELF QUESTIONING HOW CAN GOD JUST LEAVE US HERE? HUNGRY, COLD, LONELY AND SCARED...I REALIZE NOW I WAS BEING SELFISH EXPECTING GOD TO DO ALL THE WORK WHEN I HAD VERY LITTLE FAITH. I PRAYED EVERYDAY FOR HELP....IGNORING HIS GUIDANCE. SO NOW I SIT HERE LOOKING AROUND AT WHAT LIFE HAS BECOME AS I SLOWLY PICK UP THE PIECES AND WONDER HOW MY TESTIMONY COULD HELP SOMEONE IN THE FUTURE....AND WHEN WOULD MY HEART ACTUALLY BE READY TO SHARE MY PAST IN THE HOPES OF SAVING SOME UNSUSPECTING INDIVIDUAL FROM A LONG LONELY ROAD OF SADNESS FROM A WORLD THAT SHOWS NO MERCY.

It is only Tuesday and my brain hurts, well technically the day is just about over....it just seems like even when I am able to lay it down the day and all of its stress is going to be running continuously in my head. I am doing great. I have to keep it up...or it is all going to be a waste of time and energy. Today my little baby went to his first dentist appointment. He has a little tooth in and it is causing me to be nervous and sad. I didn't think I would miss it so much...his he growing up and before I know it he is going to not be nursing and becoming a big boy like his brother, running to the bus refusing to hug me good bye afraid his friend may see and make fun of him. I guess that is just all a part of growing up.